The World as I see it as I Welcome 2017 and Say Good-bye to 2016

As our family wraps up 2016 and moves into the new year it would not be complete if we didn't take a moment to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers, cards, emails, texts and most of all your love towards us. This community that God has given us has truly been a life line for us.  Losing Evan has been one of the hardest things our family has experienced and we want you to know that you have been a great source of light and hope for us. 

During the holidays we tried to create new memories while clinging to old traditions as we have faced many firsts already without our son and brother. It was difficult to not have Evan with us during this time of year as it has always been a time that we have gathered to celebrate. Although we tried hard to enjoy the company of family and friends something of course was missing and that something was Evan. Oddly for me when fun was involved and I was in the throughs of laugher or singing loudly or dancing to awesome 70's hits.....a sadness invaded me and tears would begin to fall. I felt a touch of guilt that Evan would not be here on this earth laughing, singing loudly and dancing and that brought sadness to me.

Many will say...he is dancing in heaven...yes I know and maybe in the future when I have wrestled with my feelings of loss maybe I will have the strength to look death in the face and not cry foul....but the reality is he is not here and heaven although real....is abstract to me and selfishly, I want to have him here......to hear his laughter...listen to him sing loudly and dance. The struggle is real for me as when I write this what does it say about my faith...what does it say about my heart....This is just my world and honestly, I just told my family last night...I get inside my head when this happens and it just isn't good......all this while tears are streaming down my face.....I'm glad that God is big enough for these things that I ponder and that he has provided me with a husband and son that are trying their best to love me while their hearts are breaking too.

As I move into this New Year somewhat reluctantly I would like to extent to you all the hope and joy that the New Year brings. We pray that you live each moment of each day with love in your heart. Enjoy those you love....As for me I am expectant to what the Lord is showing and teaching me in this season...I know that I am looking to be more intentional in 2017. Making every moment count....

".....Cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder".  

                                                               Romans 12:12 MSG

Our last family photo taken in Napa for my birthday. 

Snapshots from the first week of January 2017

Ben 2016

I had the pleasure of snapping a few photos with this young man, who in just a few days, will be graduating from High School. The days that passed from kindergarten to high school seem like eons but when your child graduates from high school those eons turn into fractions of a second. You almost can't catch your breath cause you want to be able to stop time from advancing. I was grateful to have been able to spend time with Ben and for just a brief moment to capture this time in his life for his folks. Best Wishes and Congratulations to the Class of 2016!! 

The Flag and Memorial Day

I love the American flag..... not just because it makes me feel patriotic but also because it gives me that heart soaring feeling you get when you hear the national anthem or when you say the pledge of allegiance. The flag makes me smile. It makes me proud to be American.

My husband and I took a road trip recently leading up to the Memorial Day weekend. We traveled down the coast and ended up in the LA area. During our travels back up the coast I tried to capture photos of the American flag in each city we traveled through and with it being Memorial Day weekend coming up there was an abundance of American flags. While on my way to the Getty Center I happened upon the Los Angeles National Cemetery which was adorned with flags from every state in the U.S. plus many American flags. I was greeted by a lovely gentleman who explained to me that they were preparing for the Memorial Day service they would be doing on Monday so the pathways were adorned with American flags. It filled me with pride to see so many beautiful flags flying in honor of those who gave their lives for my freedom and as I walked through the many gravestones it was a somber reminder that Freedom isn't free. I am grateful for the many brave men and women who gave their lives for my freedom. 

So on this Memorial Day take a moment to remember.....

Memorial Day 2016

The American Flag flying at half staff at Los Angeles National Cemetery

The State Flags

Some of the Grave Markers

More Grave Markers

A Flag at Hermosa Beach

A Flag Belt Buckle at Reagan Library

The Flag on the Tail of Air Force One at The Reagan Library

A Tattered Flag in Guadalupe, CA.

A Flag Banner in Old Town Santa Barbara

The American Flag in San Juan Bautista

Oh the emotions you will feel....

Babies make me smile and weep and giggle...and talk in a high voice. They make me feel so many emotions it's hard to capture them all. The parents of babies do the same thing as I look through my lens and I see such love, care and just a depth that not always is something that can be put into words but that the camera always captures. Yesterday all of those emotions that a person can feel were felt by me as I had the blessing of capturing this sweet baby girl. Happy Birthday! 

Putting Your Art Out There.....

This week has been full of preparations for an art show I am doing this weekend. It has been exciting, creative, at moments challenging and most certainly a process of learning. Photography has become a passion for me....from capturing the moment~composing the shot~editing the photo~printing it~enjoying it. The photography art show will be at a local seasonal and pet store. They have a lovely nursery that they have opened up for me to display my art and invite people to enjoy it. It is such a perfect spot for my floral and landscape photos. I am grateful that they enjoy my art and are willing to let me display it to the public. 

This last weekend was Mother's Day and my kids took the opportunity to take me out to do the thing that I love and that is photograph. That adventure I will have to blog about at another time.  It really was one of the best Mother's Day.  Each of my sons wrote me a lovely sentiment expressing to me something that they had noticed or seen in me over the last year. One of the things they both mentioned was photography. They said that you put your art out for people to see and it really places you in a vulnerable position. You lay it out for all to see and some may not feel the feels you do about what you've created. Both of my sons spoke of my growth and my ability to persevere even in the midst of my vulnerability.  They see that I work very hard to capture the truth in the moments I capture. Their words really meant a lot and it gave me that extra boost of confidence to push through.

So with excitement and a bit of vunerability...I am jumping into the world of art. I thought I was just putting my toes in the water but I realize that I am knee deep and going in deeper. If you are near Sweet Pea's this Saturday evening I invite you to come see my photography art show. This Saturday May 14th, 5pm at Sweet Pea's Boutique ~ 891 Alamo Drive ~ Vacaville, CA.

Walking in the Garden

I have been visiting my folks once a year since they moved to South Carolina almost 10 years ago. It has become more frequent in the last 4 years as their health has declined. I especially love to visit in the Spring as it is so beautiful. The flowers are blooming and everything looks green and lush. Although that is pretty much how it is in the Summer too, the only difference is you can't be outside for more them 10 minutes without melting from the humidity. Just this last week my kids came to visit for the first time in 5 years. It was great to have them visit and truly it is all that my parents have talked about since they left. We had a short visit and during that time they were here we went to The Daniel Stow Botanical Gardens in North Carolina. We lucked out cause it was opening weekend and the place was busy and I think they had a wedding happening as well. We pushed my folks around and they got to enjoy being outside when it wasn't too hot. If you are ever in the area stop by and walk the gardens....you won't be disappointed.