Reflections on a Cloudy June Day

The sky is covered in clouds today, reminding me that the weather is constantly changing. Even in sunny California, we can be surprised by a sudden rainstorm with big drops falling in late June. As I watch the clouds gathering today, I find myself feeling reflective. I am struck by how time has passed and how much has happened in the past year.

It's hard to believe that just one year ago, I was getting ready for a kidney biopsy on 6/30, struggling with the mystery of my declining health. And now, I'm preparing for an incredible adventure—a river cruise along the Danube and a tour of the beautiful settings from the film "The Sound of Music," which holds a special place in my heart as the first movie I ever watched. I've shared much about my journey and am excited about the new experiences ahead.

I often reflect on the various transitions and losses I have experienced. My discussions about Grief Recovery hold significant meaning to me, as I hope that sharing my experiences may resonate with at least one person. It’s important to acknowledge that loss isn’t solely related to death; it can encompass a wide range of events that evoke feelings of grief.

My journey has been marked by numerous losses, such as relocating, changing jobs, losing pets, navigating an empty nest, and experiencing relationship shifts. Through the process of Grief Recovery, I’ve gained profound insights into myself, and I wholeheartedly believe that this program has been the most beneficial and impactful for my personal growth.

As I look back on the past year, I feel deeply thankful for the stability in my health. Despite the challenges of the year, I am grateful for the ability to continue traveling and for the personal growth I’ve experienced. In addition to the skills I’ve acquired over the years, both professionally and personally, I’ve also delved into the art of photography. Furthermore, I’m proud to have attained the title of Grief Recovery Specialist, with experience with online and in-person groups, which has empowered me to support and guide others through their healing and recovery journeys. There’s more to come, so stand by!

The Coming of Spring ~ Cherry Blossoms in Washington, DC

Last year, I spent the weekend in Virginia experiencing cherry blossoms. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long, and finally, the timing worked for me to go. I know I can experience this anywhere you will find cherry trees, but there’s nothing like the blooms in Spring as you walk along the Potomac. The day we went was perfect weather, with a high of 80 degrees. For most of the rest of the trip, it rained, but this day was perfect. This Cherry Blossom Festival draws a large crowd, and although public transit would have been excellent, it was not what we chose to do. There were so many people and lots of cameras. Families were taking photos with their children, friends were taking selfies, and it was the best day. Lots of smiles and a load of steps walked. I enjoyed this day with my childhood friend and her granddaughter, who had never seen the cherry blossoms. We walked along the Potomac and crossed to the Tidal Basin area across from the Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial.

My Word for 2024

In the quiet of the day today, I began thinking about the year's end and my word for 2024. This year has not been precisely what I thought it would be, with my word for this year being "Inspire." My primary reason for choosing this word was that after launching my Grief Recovery in-person groups, I wanted to inspire others to process loss through the Grief Recovery Method. I was able to host three groups in 2023 and help so many folks with their losses. It was a great blessing. Seeing some of the folks who've gone through my groups and the transformation I see in them has been amazing. That is inspiring for me. Yet, in the meanwhile, some other things transpired in my personal life that left me feeling a bit defeated. I'm never sure what the results of my word for the year will be, but I always intend to be the encourager. 

In July of this year, after a kidney biopsy, I was given a diagnosis of Fibrillary Glomerulonephritis https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/fibrillary-glomerulonephritis/

It's a long story, but this was after months of tests, which finally resulted in a biopsy in June and a diagnosis in July after confirmation from the Mayo Clinic. With this in mind and a little research, I've stumbled across my word for 2024. Since July, I've been working with my doctor and a few other clinicians to get to a place of stability with my health. For me, this is a good thing. This disease is progressive with no cure, so stability is good. I've had a lot of emotions I've carried for the last year, much of it just in the previous six months. Recently, I didn't realize how much I was carrying until I had a massage, which left me in tears and exhausted from some of what I was holding. Some of what I was holding is the weight of this disease. Some of what I'm holding is cumulative grief that feels heavier during the holidays. Some of what I carry is just life, which doesn't always feel good. Part of my training in Grief Recovery is to be present. Sit with what makes my heart sad and, in time, give it a voice. I'm still processing all of it. 

So, with that, my word for 2024 is stable-not likely to fall or give way, as a structure, support, foundation, etc.; firm; steady. Able or likely to continue or last; firmly established; enduring or permanent. I'm praying for my health to continue to be stable. I also hope to continue to lend my expertise and training to other grievers to help them process their losses in the new year. If it's time to process your loss, please reach out so we can chat. I have groups starting in January.

 https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/dawn-kincade

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

My Real Highlight Reel...My Word for 2023

The end of the year always brings highlights from the year we're leaving with bright hopes for the year ahead. I always love to see what those highlights look like and when I get ready to do mine, I'm always disappointed by what the algorithm chose for my "highlights." It's always difficult for an app to know what made my day and what got a lot of likes. In my economy, likes don't always equate to making my heart happy.

As I closed out the year, my word for 2022 was the noun version of Resolve-firm determination to do something. Similar words to resolve are braveness~courage~spunk~steadfastness~persistence

I'm looking back fondly because this word was the very essence of my year. I was persistent in understanding grief and all of the things that grief has taught me. I spent the year taking the information I've learned over several years of loss, pursuing what I've gleaned, and getting the training with the grief recovery method that has me moving into the next thing God has for me.

I've decided on my word for 2023 and just ordered my one little word piece.

My Word for 2023 is Inspire - to influence or impel, to give inspiration to, to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.). Other similar words are educate-enrich-enlighten-transform-nurture. As I move into 2023 with newfound information on grief and loss, I hope to Inspire others to feel their feelings and to process and complete their losses. I’m wondering…what is your word for 2023?? Happy New Year!!

Turning the Page

In January of 2022, my word for the year was Resolve.

Resolve

1. settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).

2. decide firmly on a course of action.

3. firm determination to do something. ~braveness~courage~spunk~steadfastness~persistence

When I chose that word for 2022, I had no idea that the year ahead would set me on the course I am now on and, I believe, the reason I can move toward the future.

While on Facebook in January, I found a friend's post about a Grief Recovery program. I shared this in a recent blog.Being a Heart with Ears

So in August, I decided to pursue polishing my "brand," so to speak. With newly acquired training in the Grief Recovery Method, I plan to make grief recovery part of what I want to share with the world, with photography being the expression that I share that connects me to nature and people. As a person grieving, I want to hold space for others trying to understand loss and all the feelings associated with grief.

So I began the process of fine-tuning my website and having photos taken of myself with a photographer. For me, this was a big step. To trust the process of branding myself with others is what I thought would be fun and easy (it started that way), but as the days leading up to the photo shoot came, I could feel myself wanting to scream at the top of my lungs "why are you doing this?" and loads of other questions and doubts. I can say with some certainty that it was grief. These step towards the future was me mourning the loss of what I was; to a rebranded me.

In thinking about that process, I saw myself looking back, and the secondary losses of the last six years came RUSHING back, and I was overwhelmed with big emotions. All of us are grievers, and we are experiencing that grief at 100%. So for me to articulate this experience to the average reader, it can get lost, and it's ok. This is just my journey, and I share it to give understanding and to invite you into the process.

On the day of the shoot, I had a text from a dear friend whose photos motivated me to reach out to the photographer who did my photos. Even thinking of that exchange with my friend is very emotional. She is more family than a friend, but her words helped me process my big emotions and talk me off the ledge. The day was filled with tears for many reasons that I've yet to process entirely, but the day ended well with yummy Mexican food with my husband and a greater understanding of myself as I move forward. Resolve is a word that has captured my year so far. With just a few months til year's end, Resolve has been the perfect choice for 2022.

I want to thank Lynda Kennedy for her vision and care for my photos. Thanks for holding space for my past and bringing them into my future. To my makeup artist Corrine Boicelli who took an emotional, grieving woman and made me look beautiful. Great conversation too! My door is always open to talk about grief and loss. A reworked website is coming soon.