2024

My Word for 2025

As the year comes to a close, I reflect on the possibilities that the new year holds. I begin this thoughtful process by selecting a personal word for the year, which helps me consider the journey ahead. I realize I can't enter the new year without acknowledging my journey over the past year. My word for 2024 was “Stable,” serving as a guiding principle as I navigate the challenges posed by my Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) and other health issues. This past year marked my first full year of retirement, offering me many opportunities to create my schedule. I traveled to Texas three times at the beginning of the year to capture the eclipse, go to a wedding, and visit a friend. We ventured to Europe to explore the charming streets of Salzburg while enjoying a memorable river cruise. I’ve had a trip to admire the vibrant fall colors on my bucket list for years, and that trip became a reality in 2024. As the year wraps up, I look forward to a family getaway planned for Puerto Vallarta. I aim to continue traveling for as long as my health allows. This year took me back to my old house in New York, where I tried to recall aspects of my childhood between the ages of 7 and 11. The late sixties were a significant time, filled with so much happening in our world. That’s all I can remember now, but it was a vital part of my life and fueled my desire to serve others, so I want to understand and give a voice to that part of me. I’m reflecting on this time and the people who impacted me the most. Looking back, I realize that my word for 2025 is part of this process as I revisit those formative years.

My word for the year is “Solace.” This word means to comfort - to ease grief or distress. Other similar words include comfort, assure, reassure, soothe, cheer, console, uplift, calm, elevate, and boost. The word solace is something I hope will move me towards, reassure me of the calling God has placed in me, and give me peace as I think of my future.

Although my passion for photography remains vibrant, I have dedicated more time to assisting others through Grief Recovery. Helping individuals find completion with what they wish had been different, better, or more by using the tools I’ve acquired on this journey brings me profound meaning. Over the past year, I expanded my one-on-one interactions via Zoom, hoping more individuals will take advantage of the opportunity to engage in person during our group sessions. The work I do with Grief Recovery is kept discreet. It takes great courage to undertake the challenging work of Grief Recovery, and my referrals come from individuals who may or may not be willing to discuss it. I have several Grief Recovery groups starting in 2025 and am available via Zoom for one-on-one.

I appreciate your unwavering support this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I pray you find the words to encourage and give you hope for 2025!

The Coming of Fall

As we transition from summer to fall, I find myself reminiscing while looking forward to an upcoming trip to the East to enjoy the beautiful fall foliage. However, there's a lingering sense of unease when I think back to the events that unfolded between September 3rd and October 9th of 2020. It was an incredibly challenging time, and just recalling those days brings back feeling overwhelmed and anxious. In that short period, I experienced the loss of my mom, received a cancer diagnosis, laid my mom to rest, underwent surgery, and embarked on a journey of recovery. Following the surgery, I had to undergo radiation as a precaution, which continued until the end of 2020.

Reflecting on that time fills me with disappointment, frustration, and anger. Nevertheless, I've taken steps towards healing by allowing myself to acknowledge and process these emotions. Through the work of grief recovery, I've learned the importance of sitting with my feelings, allowing myself the necessary time to process them, and then expressing those feelings in a safe space. Unfortunately, there's often a lack of understanding when giving grieving people the space to process their emotions. Many of us are told that we're doing great things for the community, but the truth is that we carry deep and long-lasting hurts. People often buy into myths such as "It just takes time" or "Keep your mind off it," or they try to fill the void with other distractions. At times, we may isolate ourselves because we feel like a burden, or we put on a brave face to help others while neglecting our pain and loss. It's also not uncommon for others to tell us not to feel bad, which only adds to the struggle.

I want to share that I am available to help. I want to be a heart with ears and allow you the space to heal your heart. You are not alone. I have an in-person group that will start in October, and for now, I will only be facilitating in-person groups. I’m available for one-on-one online only. I understand how difficult it can be to cope with such feelings, and I want you to know that you are not alone. It is essential to acknowledge that the adverse effects of grief can accumulate over time, so I want to encourage you to seek help when you feel ready. Remember, asking for support is okay - we all need it sometimes. Follow this link to Through a Glass Dimly for more info on groups and when they begin.

Reflections on a Cloudy June Day

The sky is covered in clouds today, reminding me that the weather is constantly changing. Even in sunny California, we can be surprised by a sudden rainstorm with big drops falling in late June. As I watch the clouds gathering today, I find myself feeling reflective. I am struck by how time has passed and how much has happened in the past year.

It's hard to believe that just one year ago, I was getting ready for a kidney biopsy on 6/30, struggling with the mystery of my declining health. And now, I'm preparing for an incredible adventure—a river cruise along the Danube and a tour of the beautiful settings from the film "The Sound of Music," which holds a special place in my heart as the first movie I ever watched. I've shared much about my journey and am excited about the new experiences ahead.

I often reflect on the various transitions and losses I have experienced. My discussions about Grief Recovery hold significant meaning to me, as I hope that sharing my experiences may resonate with at least one person. It’s important to acknowledge that loss isn’t solely related to death; it can encompass a wide range of events that evoke feelings of grief.

My journey has been marked by numerous losses, such as relocating, changing jobs, losing pets, navigating an empty nest, and experiencing relationship shifts. Through the process of Grief Recovery, I’ve gained profound insights into myself, and I wholeheartedly believe that this program has been the most beneficial and impactful for my personal growth.

As I look back on the past year, I feel deeply thankful for the stability in my health. Despite the challenges of the year, I am grateful for the ability to continue traveling and for the personal growth I’ve experienced. In addition to the skills I’ve acquired over the years, both professionally and personally, I’ve also delved into the art of photography. Furthermore, I’m proud to have attained the title of Grief Recovery Specialist, with experience with online and in-person groups, which has empowered me to support and guide others through their healing and recovery journeys. There’s more to come, so stand by!