Sugar and Spice....Welcome Olivia Canalita Lahl~January 26, 2017

I really can't tell you how exciting it is to see new parents as they navigate the first 48 hours after having a newborn. So many things to discover and cherish, hurdles to overcome and challenges to push through. Just about two weeks ago I posted a Milk Bath Maternity session with Lindsey...I've included it here in this blog post just in case you missed it. Lindsey and I did that session at the beginning of January and she wasn't due until February. So when she started having contraction last week it looked like Miss Olivia would be arriving in God's perfect timing and Lindsey, David and all of their extended family could not be more excited to welcome her.

These are just a few of the photos captured during their first 48 hours as a new family. Both of you have included me in all...if not most of your life events and I am so thankful for your love and friendship. Your love for each other is so evident and Olivia is one blessed little girl to have you both as parents. Lindsey you bring such tenderness and nurturing...David always the confident protector and encourager. Thank you for share and including me in such a special and intimate time with your new family. I'm already so impressed by who you both are as parents. 

 http://www.dawnkincadephotography.com/my-adventures/2017/1/24/lindsey-lahlmilk-bath-maternity-sessionjanuary-2017

I know...she is so dang cute!!!

Moments in the busyness....Capture 2017

In the busyness of the last couple weeks I was trying to keep my head figuratively and literally above the water line. I saw so many rainbows but on some of the days life seemed to move along with out me even knowing that my life has changed. Last week I spent most of my days busy either at work or just going. I've found the more I go and do the less I stop and feel. In the stopping and feeling moments the weight of my loss is so acute that I can't breath. I want my old life back....with all of its flaws and imperfection because in that it seemed that the pain was far less.....the empty parts of my heart are filled and I don't feel so empty...so utterly and completely empty. I often wonder if I would have maybe not wasted my time on insignificant things....would I have looked more deeply....loved more largely....held on more tightly. 

Of course I know the answers to all of those doubts.....the grip that sometimes wants to suffocate the life that I want to live....the today that I am living. When I start to think about my today I begin to breath just a bit more. I see that the sun comes out...that although the loss is great the sun does shine even through the rain and fog. The loss....the sadness....the empty parts seem to find rest. I'm always so surprised how the sadness creeps in but never surprised to hear the Lord bring words of comfort to me. Doesn't change my situation it just gives me the strength to take one more step forward. I seriously don't know how you are suppose to live after such loss but for this moment and of the moments in between...I look expectantly to Him and the beauty that He has created for us. Check out the shot of the hummingbird with his tongue out...amazing.

For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!                                                            2 Cor 4:17 NLT

Lindsey Lahl~Milk Bath Maternity Session~January 2017

Every now and again I see something beautiful and I really want to try to recreate it. Most of the time that is easy cause I can find a landscape or a flower that I can photograph and off I go. It is so much harder when you have to find a model...a living breath person who is willing to allow you to have creative license with them on a shoot. I had been seeing all of these great photos on several websites for Milk Bath photography. Most of the time they are related to maternity or newborn sessions and I am so appreciative of the Milk Bath element for the delicate look and just the natural alluring aspect of this type of photo.

So after studying how I might be able to accomplish this style of photography and realizing I had the best location (our master bath has a great oval tub with a large window).  I then did some research on the elements of creating the Milk Bath....powdered milk vs. real milk, fake flowers vs. real, hot water vs. cold and every variation of this.... I was so fortunate to have a friend who is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks give me the opportunity to try out this type of photography. So on the first of January with all of the items needed and with her mom as my assistant we ventured into creating this lovely Milk Bath Maternity Session. Thank you for making the beginning of 2017 start off with so much grace and beauty. 

I want to thank the ladies at Stem's Florist for helping me choose the right flowers and greenery for these photos. I used powdered milk, cornstarch, and lavender essential oils. Thanks for trusting me to photograph you and for being such a willing model. If this looks like something you'd like to try, send me a message on Facebook or through my website. I look forward to creating a beautiful session with you.

Drying out from the rain....Capture 2017 Week 2

We have been under clouds of rain for the last week and finally in the last few days we have emerged to dry out and be outside. Although the dampness has caused a bit of ground fog it has still been nice to see the sun and although I LOVE the sun there is beauty to be appreciated in the rain and fog.  

The journey I'm currently traveling is a strange one for me. I have moment of great joy and happiness (the sunny days) and moments of such great sadness and tears (the rainy days) with moments of not knowing if I can see beyond the moment I'm in (the foggy days). Now I can use other analogies that are weather related...but these are the ones that are the most fresh....the here and the now moments. I suspect they are no different then what you probably experience on a weekly basis but I've found that I am much more contemplative~ watching...looking...observing. Trying to find Hope at a time when I feel rather lost and out of sorts.

We recently found a few of Evan's writings and I'm amazed at his work. So much depth. It's funny cause I too wrote much during my younger years. I guess we both had a lot of emotion that didn't have an outlet so we wrote. Most of those writings were born of pain and sadness. Evan's too have the same flavor...depth...sadness. Many though are quite spiritual....almost prophetic so to speak. I hope to add them as I post these updates to the Capture 2017. 

Contingency   

My heart never told my brain to have a contingency plan.

Landlines, locked down by strong winds,

pacified by semi-meaningful promises and

dual-fated illnesses, lack the structural integrity to hold out

and the floodgates burst wide.

Even the eye of the storm–mildly calm compared to

the rest of the sorrowful, cloudy night– is brainwashed

into thinking that it has to act as the rest of tempest must:

with vengeance till the last exhalation

and the floodgates burst wide.

Though I've dabbled in sailing and preparing safety nets,

it must've slipped my first mate's mind to prepare

my last line of comfort and consolation.

I am alone. No one can hear me. I am alone...

and the floodgates burst wide.

My psyche is lost in the tide.

I cannot get out.

 By Evan Kenneth Kincade    3/08

What will you capture next.....Capture 2017

Mother's Day Note 2016 

Back in May of 2016 my sons, Evan and Alex, took me out for a Mother's Day adventure to a beautiful place in the Piedmont Hills. We walked to the top of this hill and we could see all of the bay area from this place. They had thought through the day and made it all about the things that I love, taking photos, beautiful spaces, food and them. Later that day both of my sons wrote me lovely notes and challenged me that they looked forward to what I would "capture next". 

So I wanted to start my own journey of capturing what I see on a daily and weekly basis so that as I look back over 2017 with the hope of seeing what the world and creation was saying to me. My desire is to share my heart as I view life and the living of life that comes with seeing my world differently then last year. To put my thoughts and feelings in an open place that others will feel a connection to so that they will join me. Being expectant as I will be this year to see what God has for me and hoping that in some small way this will help with my broken heart. 

Fast forward to today,  January 11, 2017...our family has lost our son and brother, Evan....and life as we've known it will forever be changed. I will ALWAYS be the mother of two sons....the ensuing birthdays, Mother's Days, and all other holidays will look and feel different. I am grateful for my son, Alex, who is working and processing this journey along with his parents. Love my sons and I'm thankful for the 25 years, 11 months, and 4 days I had with Evan and for Alex who has been so attentive toward our care as we venture down this road we did not want or desire for our family. Look around...begin to see the world that surrounds you and capture it. 

Be expectant...Be intentional....#Capture2017

These photos taken since January 1, 2017.